Posted in Crystals, Energy Work, Herbal, Spells, Spiritual Growth

Self Love Jar and Practical Magic Love Spell.

So the first one I did with Aphrodite and you can see how I made it here:

@teaheez68

A great spell for those who have PTSD and need some emotional healing. #fyp #witch #witchtok #spell #aphrodite #spelljar

♬ original sound – Tea Heez

I basically made it to help with my depression and it has! It’s great to have around while I do my morning and night skin care routine as well as when I put on make up or do any beauty activity.

My next spell jar is one that is inspired by the movie Practical Magic. When young Sally makes her love spell for someone she thinks doesn’t exist she finds that he does exist and they do fall in love and it feels organic not forced. I for one have never felt love spells for attracting a partner goes against a person’s will, and Sally’s spell is a prime example.

Below are the ingredients. Be sure that only the rose quartz, rose petal, list of qualities you’d like in a person, and rose bud are the only necessary ingredients needed everything else is subjective:

So once you have your ingredients go ahead and put them together:

Then if you like seal it!

Hope you enjoyed these spell jars! Hopefully they’ll help you. Happy witching!

Posted in Altars, Deities, Energy Work, Herbal, kitchen witchery, Oracles, Rituals, Spells, Spiritual Growth

Cannabis in My Witchcraft.

You may be thinking that I get high to astral travel, but really smoking cannabis helps me ground whilst I meditate.

I go by the meditations the book suggests then I am pulled into the astral to usually just chill with my deities and spirits but I’ve also done some work over there while high and I was able to focus more so than usual. Not saying getting high is necessary for astral travel it just helps not to get stuck there.

Some UPG correspondences are:

  • Necromancy
  • Spirit communication
  • Intuition enhancing
  • Luck
  • Euphoria
  • Enhances magickal focus
  • Zen state of mind
  • Poetic script
  • Clarity
  • Energy manipulation
  • Enhances magick

Some Deities that like it as an offering:

  • Loki
  • Hekate
  • Artemis
  • Longmu
  • LongShen
  • Tu’ Er Shen
  • Aphrodite
  • Pan
  • Athena
  • Apollo
  • Freya
  • Frigg
  • Sif
  • Thor
  • Tyr
  • Anubis
  • Isis
  • Anupet
  • Wepwawet
  • Gaia
  • Hades
  • Persephone
  • Demeter
  • Hestia
  • Brigid
  • Danu
  • Morrigan
  • Lugh
  • Yahshua (Yeshua)
  • Ganesha
  • Kali
  • Krishna
  • Ares
  • Hermes
  • Pan
  • Themis
  • Kuan Yin
  • Siddhartha Gautama
  • Dionysus
  • Diana
  • Vesta
  • And more!

I also like to use it when I do readings. Check out this reading for example:

The reading was with the Priestess of Light Oracle card deck and it was a spread for what my matron deity, Hekate, wants me to focus on. Clarifying my goals as wanting to become her priestess, her guiding me, to an abundant spiritual life. The 2nd card is her very much represented with a canine, one of her animals, and her guiding hand through my studies with her.

After that I blessed and charmed my smoke blend (recipe below) to give me clarity, guidance, and abundance. Artemis, green candle, Ganesh, the elephant statue, and Kuan Yin, statue, also blessed my herbs. The crystals are K2, Kyanite, Ruby in Kyanite, amethyst, rose quartz, labradorite, blue calcite, and selenite.

My smoke blend:

  • Cannabis – luck, enhanced magick
  • Rose bud – love, self love, abundance
  • Spearmint – luck, abundance
  • Lavender – dreams, peace
  • Green tea – earth energy, zen
  • Blue lotus – lunar energy, feminine
  • Catnip – abundance, calm
  • Hibiscus – love, prosperity

If you are over 21 I HIGHly recommend using cannabis in your craft. Stay safe and happy witching!

Posted in Deities, Godspousing, Spiritual Growth

How My Deities and Spirits Saved Me Again.

Not exactly the post I wanted to write after being so inactive for so long, but Aphrodite is having me write this. This post doesn’t need a reaction or anything, I’m just supposed to write it.

*Warning this post contains suicidal thoughts and mentions rape and abuse*

Also, note that during this time a lot of my dual sun signs (Sagittarius, Pisces, and Gemini) friends were experiencing similar suicidal thoughts. I am also a Pisces in sun and venus so to any western astrologers you might have noticed this too.

On January 23rd I had another attempt only this time I didn’t want to choose a pretty death. I hadn’t truly attempted since 2016, but all the times prior to the 23rd I wanted a bloodless death for the sake of whomever found me.

This time I didn’t care.

Now let’s look back just a bit over the course of my life to see how this all came about. At the age of 3 I dreamed I was on the top of the stairs of my home. The blue carpet felt as soft as it usually did. It was dawn, but instead of a peach glow that shone through the door’s window, it was a white light. Mind you I had just learned what death was that day after I threw my stuffed horse with a voice box down the stairs. My dad said he was dead and told me my horse would never neigh again.

Maybe it was guilt or envy or a mixture of both but in the dream I flung myself into the white light and I felt myself fade into it like I was one with the light until it became darkness and I woke up. This dream has been reoccurring all my life. To this day I still find comfort in that dream. Death to me is peace.

I learned of the word suicide at age 11 and at 15 my cousin committed suicide and I went to his funeral and saw his daughter give a speech that brought me to tears. I didn’t know them well and yet I cried because of how much she missed him. But it dawned on me then that my cousin was at peace and I envied him.

Throughout my life I have been raped, sexually abused, physically abused, but to be honest the worst was and still is the emotional abuse. It hurts more to me than any physical pain. Oddly I don’t mind being lied to, but all out betrayal and people projecting their expectations on me is the worst. I am the complete opposite of the cliche “sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never harm me.”

But it’s strange. You could call me a fucking retarded piece of shit that doesn’t deserve love in a cool monotone and I’d agree. If you yelled that at me my flight response would kick in and I’d internalize it to such a degree that I’d almost make it a mantra for myself.

I don’t believe there are as many empaths as people claim they are. To be truly empathic in my view you’d need some level of telepathy. 1 in 2 billion people probably have this gift. But mood mimicking? Yup that’s what I’d call myself. Any time I wasn’t mimicking another’s mood I felt worse because then I couldn’t help. There have been times I felt I needed a sense of self, or rather healthy boundaries, with certain people but I couldn’t and still have problems with maintaining that.

On the 23rd of January this year I had already been on my cycle for the whole month (apparently doctors don’t know what’s wrong with me or they’re lying because they know I can’t pay for a proper diagnosis) so emotions were running wild already and a panic attack ensued that night.

That day was pretty good, there wasn’t a specific trigger that threw me into a panic attack it was just me. All the things I internalized just manifested and I wanted to kill myself to find peace.

I called the hotline which I only do when I get to that place. I have had suicidal thought everyday since I was 3 but I only call the hotline when I have a plan to kill myself. I think I call them more than I should. I’ve called them at least 16 times since my 20s, and I’ve paid for therapy, and I’ve read self help books. None of it helps. I think at this point the only thing that could help would be full on amnesia or an IV of serotonin 24/7.

But I will say this. As I was holding my mother’s revolver, this was after my conversation with the suicide hotline, I contemplated doing a Russian Roulette. All the chambers were loaded and I could have taken them out and let only one bullet stay, but I calculated my odds and I didn’t want to be saved.

Until Loki, my godspouse, told me that this wasn’t my time. You see during this panic attack I had deities and spirits all telling me not to do it. Some frantically yelling, some crying, but during those moments I just felt crazy. I still feel crazy. Mentally ill is an understatement. I feel mentally damaged beyond repair. When anyone says I matter or that they love me I don’t believe them. I don’t trust anyone really. Whether intended or not I know the ones I love will hurt me. I especially don’t trust myself. In fact though I’ve tried to give myself self love, I just hate myself. When anyone gives me a compliment I just smile and say thank you for their benefit. It’s awkward to say what I truly think of myself in those moments. So I’m polite.

Even when I laugh on the outside I’m still a sad little piece of shit on the inside. I feel guilty for existing. No therapist or self help book can cure that. So why am I still alive?

Because it’s still not my time to go. Ha, I used to pray that I’d die at the same age of Yeshua (or Yahshua/Jesus) which would be 30-35 years old. I’ve got 2 more years to see if that’s really going to happen. Most days I feel like a ticking time bomb. But if I live beyond 35 years old I’ll be honest I wouldn’t know wtf to do. I could be a millionaire and still not know what to do emotionally with myself.

The gods have said that my death will be violent, but even disease and “natural causes” seem pretty violent to me. The only love I can give myself is hope. I hope that when I die I helped someone by dying. Whether it be one less drain on resources or that I saved someone from a cruel fate by my death.

I’ll conclude this with a talented völva friend of mine who made this message:

https://vm.tiktok.com/TTPdkSxX35/

She did a reading for all of Loki’s devotees and Loki’s love definitely showed through. Most (by most I mean 1/100 times) of the time when people do readings for me I don’t resonate with them. I try to but then I notice I mood mimic and then the reading falls flat. But this one didn’t for some reason aka Loki, and it gave me comfort.

So for those who have read this post all the way through I hope you can overcome your own depression and any insecurities you have. You deserve happiness. Take care and happy witching!

Posted in Deities, Godspousing, Oracles, Spiritual Growth

New Deck…sorta. Plus Love Prayer for Loki 💖.

So if you’re familiar with my blog you know I have this deck on digital form, but I loved it so much I got the physical copy…lol sorta. It did not come with a guidebook but I was able to download it from the link on the back of the box.

But yes I do love this deck being that I am a neo pagan and this deck just screams that. I did a light/shadow reading which shows your strengths and weaknesses more or less.

The Knight of Swords shows that I’m ambitious and strive for success in everything I do. Which is true I am a perfectionist and also a Slytherin so this card is very accurate.

My shadow card, the Seven of Wands, shows that I’m often misunderstood, defending my accomplishments, and need to erect energetic shields. Very true since I’m in tiktok and I’m sure I’ve pissed ppl off just by being me. Plus living in a house full of judgy Christians doesn’t help.

A very accurate reading indeed. Physical copy 9.8/10. Kinda wish the cards were slightly bigger but they are indeed travel size.

Now onto a little devotion to Loki.

For those who can’t read my handwriting:

Loki you are the love I was terrified of but once I opened my heart the most thrilling love came to me. Thank you for never giving up on me. May our journey together be eternal. You're beautiful soul never ceases to amaze me! 

I don’t often write in my prayer journal (I should) but when I do it’s basically love letters or praise.

This one was inspired by last night when I just felt a deep connection to Loki. I often do, of course, but the intimate connections we have are like nothing else. Godspousing isn’t always about the glorious, sometimes it’s the mundane day to day romances that really make one feel appreciated. Loki makes me feel appreciated and I hope I can return the feeling as much as Loki has done for me. Mortals come and go in this life, but my beloved is eternal.

Alright, thanks for reading and happy witching!

Posted in Holidays, kitchen witchery, Oracles, Rituals, Spells

Happy Beltane!

For this Beltane I did a ritual for bringing abundance and creative fertility.

I used a green candle for the Green Man and a red candle for the May queen for their unification. I also used my teapot cauldron to burn my wishes this season.

With the candles I jumped over them 3 times saying this spell:

“Let abundance overflow and cease all my woes!”

I also did a few readings today as well as my daily tarot reading. I dont have pics, but they were from the Viking Oracle and the Dragonfae Oracle. The overall message? Trust the gods and goddesses and keep learning and growing without being stagnant and retarding (not meant towards those with special needs).

Also…to love and accept my divine feminine sexuality. Fitting for today. I came out this year as a lesbian so I’m all for the feminine sexuality indeed.

I also dedicated a green tea, apple and elderflower drink to the Fae. They were delighted even though They can taste everything I do from a spell I casted well over a year ago.

I also made lavender and rose honey pancakes. These are the perfect Beltane treats. Naturally the recipe is below. But these are delightful and a great treat to this beautiful day.

Beltane Lavender and Rose Pancakes

  • In two separate small dishes put crushed rose buds in one and lavender in the other.
  • 1 tbls for each.
  • Add 2 tbls of sugar to each dish.
  • Add 1/2 cup of boiling water to each dish.
  • Steep for 5-7 mins.
  • In a pyrex dish add 1 1/2 cups of self rising flour.
  • Add a teaspoon of honey.
  • Add a tsp of sugar.
  • Add a tsp of poppy seeds.
  • Once well steeped, strain the floral teas into the pyrex dish.
  • Add petals from the mixtures as desired.
  • In a pan use coconut oil to grease.
  • After well stirred add to the pan.
  • Cook on medium to medium high and cook until golden brown. Enjoy!

Thanks for reading yall and happy witching!

Posted in Deities, Godspousing, Spiritual Growth

Having Personal Relationships with Deities and Spirits Rather than Formal. Gatekeeping in Both Regards.

I never really could be formal. In all honesty the times I’ve tried to it’s failed. I suppose the most formal I’ve ever been was with Yah and Anubis but even then those small formal gestures lifted quickly. Hard to say how exactly and who dropped the formal language first, most likely me, but nevertheless I want to talk about the difference a lot of us witches have with our deities and how gatekeeping is abound in both camps.

Let’s start with my camp. Team who gives a fuck about formalities? While in a lot of ways I see the purpose of being formal, for the most part I don’t. A Goddess or God to me is Someone Whom I want in my life and with my first intention want around forever. So it’s odd to me to be so very grandiose. I guess you can say I like to get to know them as friends before officially working with them. This kind of work depends on personal vs external, but nonetheless if i don’t have a strong connection with that deity we never work together.

I have seen though people take this too far and say in so many words or less that their devotion to said deity out ways another person’s experience. Bull. Devotion is great but many a times I’ve seen deities not want any of their devotees to act as oracles nor enter into any kind of clergy role.

On the flip side. Side let’s be uber formal with our deities, there is too much ritual and too much involved to speak to the gods. Not that the work or ritual doesn’t have it’s merit, but it’s certainly not the only way to communicate with deities. A lot of organized religion and circles do this because at one point said deity liked it that way at the time, but and while tradition is great, one can gatekeep new instruction from said deity by being bogged down by past rituals.

Both sides have to grow to realize that there can be a happy medium. You can be as formal or informal as you see fit. No one defines your relationship to the Divine other than you and the Divine.

That being said, one has to use caution when working with others. If you’re not on the same page then how do expect to grow? You won’t. You’ll be kept down and be prevented from experiencing the full glory of your potential.

When it comes to formalities let the Gods be the deciding factor. Some require specific instructions, others are as free to use informal language as much as you want. It all depends. So this argument in modern witchcraft needs to be put on the back burner. Let’s settle this here that both have merit and use and not everyone fits neatly into ritualistic box nor a lasse-fair relationship with their deity(ies).

Work out with your deities what language and ritual to use works best for you and happy witching!