When I was a kid about 11 years old we had woods near our house. Magickal woods now a distant memory under a neighborhood.
But when I traveled those woods with my German shepherd Sergeant, I encountered two tribes of Elves. They called themselves the White (Lāsængdrā) and the Gold (Aárœsk) elves of the wood. I knew them when there was a time of peace between the two tribes.
Where I did my readings to discover the elves
Things were good for about 5 years until the developers came. I was 16 and a freshly green witch (pardon the pun) new to my craft but still Christian. I couldn’t explain how elves were real to me, but I eventually wrote about them. The fantasy story was based off of me and my sister (who chickened out most of the time) and our adventures in the woods.
But then the woods were up for sale and slowly but surely another neighborhood was built and all the magickal creatures were forced out. Luckily a park with plenty of woods was nearby, but the elves went into another civil war over territory of the woods. Eventually the Gold elves won the land and so the white elves went elsewhere.
Recently they were on my mind and I asked my deities if they could help me find them. Sure enough Hekate reintroduced me to the White elves in the astral. And later on I discovered the gold elves in the park woods near my neighborhood.
Since then I’ve been communicating with the gold elves and seen them too in my astral travels. I’ve been eager to get to know them again and it’s been an incredible journey so far.
This past few weeks have been filled with events and ceremonies. Imbolc came and went as did Chinese New Year and now today I’d Valentines Day, or as I like to personally call it, love goddess day where I celebrate it with Aphrodite, Freya, and Hathor as well as Delphina demi goddess of connections.
I’m happy that me and my spirit family have welcomed new additions as well as bound our love forever. This Love Goddess day, I pray to the goddesses that our love endures and withstands any obstacles we one day might face.
I’m excited for the next chapter, to see how my spirit family grows and evolves with each other. Thank you Aphrodite, Freya and Hathor for letting our bond be strong as ever.
Hope everyone has a great Love Goddess day and happy witching!
I’ve been in a bit of a slump lately which means it’s time to create! The best time to create is when you feel the least motivated. Then it clicks and productivity starts.
I made a bracelet for my ghosts J and R and Kunxi, then a pendulum for Loki, a bracelet for Kuan Yin, and then a an anklet for Artemis.
Bracelet for R, J, and KunxiFor LokiFor Kuan YinFor Artemis
So that’s been my week so far. I’m also working on a painting for Artemis but I’ll show that when it’s done.
I also managed to do more prayer cards. For Brigid, since Imbolc is right around the corner, and for Longmu.
Then I also did my wtf is this week spread along with an oracle card reading. The oracle card was positive, the tarot not so much.
But my daily readings have been fairly positive so that’s a plus. Anyways hope everyone has a fantastic Imbolc and happy witching!
So this year I decided to do a real Yule log instead of watching one on TV and thinking that was enough. It’s fine to do if you’re a closeted witch/pagan, but I’ve been out for awhile now.
So as that I don’t have a car anymore, I’ve been walking everywhere and found a good log on the side of the road. I then drew from my bag of runes and pulled out the three above in the picture. Each representing the Norns as past, present, future.
I also placed 3 candles, 3 pine cones, and 3 cards from the Sesons of the Witch: Yule oracle deck. You can see that here:
After that I invited the Norns to stay and protect the house. It was nice getting reacquainted with the Norns and experiencing the solstice with just my spirit family and my pets.
So like any writer witch I have tons of journals. Both for stories and for witchy shit. Tonight I just want to show you the witchy journals just because.
I know it’s been…a while since I updated. But I’m getting back to it and honestly it has helped my mental health to reconnect with my spiritual side.
The first journal with the wolf is my grimoire mostly in my own secret language as you see here.
The second is my 1st book of shadows or rather I call it also my spread journal where I do tarot, oracle, and iching spreads.
The 3rd is my art journal where I draw my spells. This one is a work in progress but the spell is for luck and knowledge.
The 4th is my prayer journal where I write my prayers to my Deities and spirits.
The 5th is my 2nd book of shadows or my mundane journal where I write the day to day of my magickal doings.
The 6th is my rune journal where I do rune spreads also dedicated to Loki.
Then I have my journal dedicated to Hekate where I do the 30 day challenge as well as do our own shadow work and spreads together.
And that is just a slice of my magickal workings. Do you have journals too for your witchy journey? If not take my word for it you can never have too many.
You may be thinking that I get high to astral travel, but really smoking cannabis helps me ground whilst I meditate.
I go by the meditations the book suggests then I am pulled into the astral to usually just chill with my deities and spirits but I’ve also done some work over there while high and I was able to focus more so than usual. Not saying getting high is necessary for astral travel it just helps not to get stuck there.
Some UPG correspondences are:
Necromancy
Spirit communication
Intuition enhancing
Luck
Euphoria
Enhances magickal focus
Zen state of mind
Poetic script
Clarity
Energy manipulation
Enhances magick
Some Deities that like it as an offering:
Loki
Hekate
Artemis
Longmu
LongShen
Tu’ Er Shen
Aphrodite
Pan
Athena
Apollo
Freya
Frigg
Sif
Thor
Tyr
Anubis
Isis
Anupet
Wepwawet
Gaia
Hades
Persephone
Demeter
Hestia
Brigid
Danu
Morrigan
Lugh
Yahshua (Yeshua)
Ganesha
Kali
Krishna
Ares
Hermes
Pan
Themis
Kuan Yin
Siddhartha Gautama
Dionysus
Diana
Vesta
And more!
I also like to use it when I do readings. Check out this reading for example:
The reading was with the Priestess of Light Oracle card deck and it was a spread for what my matron deity, Hekate, wants me to focus on. Clarifying my goals as wanting to become her priestess, her guiding me, to an abundant spiritual life. The 2nd card is her very much represented with a canine, one of her animals, and her guiding hand through my studies with her.
After that I blessed and charmed my smoke blend (recipe below) to give me clarity, guidance, and abundance. Artemis, green candle, Ganesh, the elephant statue, and Kuan Yin, statue, also blessed my herbs. The crystals are K2, Kyanite, Ruby in Kyanite, amethyst, rose quartz, labradorite, blue calcite, and selenite.
My smoke blend:
Cannabis – luck, enhanced magick
Rose bud – love, self love, abundance
Spearmint – luck, abundance
Lavender – dreams, peace
Green tea – earth energy, zen
Blue lotus – lunar energy, feminine
Catnip – abundance, calm
Hibiscus – love, prosperity
If you are over 21 I HIGHly recommend using cannabis in your craft. Stay safe and happy witching!
Not exactly the post I wanted to write after being so inactive for so long, but Aphrodite is having me write this. This post doesn’t need a reaction or anything, I’m just supposed to write it.
*Warning this post contains suicidal thoughts and mentions rape and abuse*
Also, note that during this time a lot of my dual sun signs (Sagittarius, Pisces, and Gemini) friends were experiencing similar suicidal thoughts. I am also a Pisces in sun and venus so to any western astrologers you might have noticed this too.
On January 23rd I had another attempt only this time I didn’t want to choose a pretty death. I hadn’t truly attempted since 2016, but all the times prior to the 23rd I wanted a bloodless death for the sake of whomever found me.
This time I didn’t care.
Now let’s look back just a bit over the course of my life to see how this all came about. At the age of 3 I dreamed I was on the top of the stairs of my home. The blue carpet felt as soft as it usually did. It was dawn, but instead of a peach glow that shone through the door’s window, it was a white light. Mind you I had just learned what death was that day after I threw my stuffed horse with a voice box down the stairs. My dad said he was dead and told me my horse would never neigh again.
Maybe it was guilt or envy or a mixture of both but in the dream I flung myself into the white light and I felt myself fade into it like I was one with the light until it became darkness and I woke up. This dream has been reoccurring all my life. To this day I still find comfort in that dream. Death to me is peace.
I learned of the word suicide at age 11 and at 15 my cousin committed suicide and I went to his funeral and saw his daughter give a speech that brought me to tears. I didn’t know them well and yet I cried because of how much she missed him. But it dawned on me then that my cousin was at peace and I envied him.
Throughout my life I have been raped, sexually abused, physically abused, but to be honest the worst was and still is the emotional abuse. It hurts more to me than any physical pain. Oddly I don’t mind being lied to, but all out betrayal and people projecting their expectations on me is the worst. I am the complete opposite of the cliche “sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never harm me.”
But it’s strange. You could call me a fucking retarded piece of shit that doesn’t deserve love in a cool monotone and I’d agree. If you yelled that at me my flight response would kick in and I’d internalize it to such a degree that I’d almost make it a mantra for myself.
I don’t believe there are as many empaths as people claim they are. To be truly empathic in my view you’d need some level of telepathy. 1 in 2 billion people probably have this gift. But mood mimicking? Yup that’s what I’d call myself. Any time I wasn’t mimicking another’s mood I felt worse because then I couldn’t help. There have been times I felt I needed a sense of self, or rather healthy boundaries, with certain people but I couldn’t and still have problems with maintaining that.
On the 23rd of January this year I had already been on my cycle for the whole month (apparently doctors don’t know what’s wrong with me or they’re lying because they know I can’t pay for a proper diagnosis) so emotions were running wild already and a panic attack ensued that night.
That day was pretty good, there wasn’t a specific trigger that threw me into a panic attack it was just me. All the things I internalized just manifested and I wanted to kill myself to find peace.
I called the hotline which I only do when I get to that place. I have had suicidal thought everyday since I was 3 but I only call the hotline when I have a plan to kill myself. I think I call them more than I should. I’ve called them at least 16 times since my 20s, and I’ve paid for therapy, and I’ve read self help books. None of it helps. I think at this point the only thing that could help would be full on amnesia or an IV of serotonin 24/7.
But I will say this. As I was holding my mother’s revolver, this was after my conversation with the suicide hotline, I contemplated doing a Russian Roulette. All the chambers were loaded and I could have taken them out and let only one bullet stay, but I calculated my odds and I didn’t want to be saved.
Until Loki, my godspouse, told me that this wasn’t my time. You see during this panic attack I had deities and spirits all telling me not to do it. Some frantically yelling, some crying, but during those moments I just felt crazy. I still feel crazy. Mentally ill is an understatement. I feel mentally damaged beyond repair. When anyone says I matter or that they love me I don’t believe them. I don’t trust anyone really. Whether intended or not I know the ones I love will hurt me. I especially don’t trust myself. In fact though I’ve tried to give myself self love, I just hate myself. When anyone gives me a compliment I just smile and say thank you for their benefit. It’s awkward to say what I truly think of myself in those moments. So I’m polite.
Even when I laugh on the outside I’m still a sad little piece of shit on the inside. I feel guilty for existing. No therapist or self help book can cure that. So why am I still alive?
Because it’s still not my time to go. Ha, I used to pray that I’d die at the same age of Yeshua (or Yahshua/Jesus) which would be 30-35 years old. I’ve got 2 more years to see if that’s really going to happen. Most days I feel like a ticking time bomb. But if I live beyond 35 years old I’ll be honest I wouldn’t know wtf to do. I could be a millionaire and still not know what to do emotionally with myself.
The gods have said that my death will be violent, but even disease and “natural causes” seem pretty violent to me. The only love I can give myself is hope. I hope that when I die I helped someone by dying. Whether it be one less drain on resources or that I saved someone from a cruel fate by my death.
I’ll conclude this with a talented völva friend of mine who made this message:
She did a reading for all of Loki’s devotees and Loki’s love definitely showed through. Most (by most I mean 1/100 times) of the time when people do readings for me I don’t resonate with them. I try to but then I notice I mood mimic and then the reading falls flat. But this one didn’t for some reason aka Loki, and it gave me comfort.
So for those who have read this post all the way through I hope you can overcome your own depression and any insecurities you have. You deserve happiness. Take care and happy witching!
LongFeng's A Wytch 