You may be thinking that I get high to astral travel, but really smoking cannabis helps me ground whilst I meditate.
I go by the meditations the book suggests then I am pulled into the astral to usually just chill with my deities and spirits but I’ve also done some work over there while high and I was able to focus more so than usual. Not saying getting high is necessary for astral travel it just helps not to get stuck there.
Some UPG correspondences are:
Enhances magickal focus
Zen state of mind
Some Deities that like it as an offering:
Tu’ Er Shen
I also like to use it when I do readings. Check out this reading for example:
The reading was with the Priestess of Light Oracle card deck and it was a spread for what my matron deity, Hekate, wants me to focus on. Clarifying my goals as wanting to become her priestess, her guiding me, to an abundant spiritual life. The 2nd card is her very much represented with a canine, one of her animals, and her guiding hand through my studies with her.
After that I blessed and charmed my smoke blend (recipe below) to give me clarity, guidance, and abundance. Artemis, green candle, Ganesh, the elephant statue, and Kuan Yin, statue, also blessed my herbs. The crystals are K2, Kyanite, Ruby in Kyanite, amethyst, rose quartz, labradorite, blue calcite, and selenite.
My smoke blend:
Cannabis – luck, enhanced magick
Rose bud – love, self love, abundance
Spearmint – luck, abundance
Lavender – dreams, peace
Green tea – earth energy, zen
Blue lotus – lunar energy, feminine
Catnip – abundance, calm
Hibiscus – love, prosperity
If you are over 21 I HIGHly recommend using cannabis in your craft. Stay safe and happy witching!
Not exactly the post I wanted to write after being so inactive for so long, but Aphrodite is having me write this. This post doesn’t need a reaction or anything, I’m just supposed to write it.
*Warning this post contains suicidal thoughts and mentions rape and abuse*
Also, note that during this time a lot of my dual sun signs (Sagittarius, Pisces, and Gemini) friends were experiencing similar suicidal thoughts. I am also a Pisces in sun and venus so to any western astrologers you might have noticed this too.
On January 23rd I had another attempt only this time I didn’t want to choose a pretty death. I hadn’t truly attempted since 2016, but all the times prior to the 23rd I wanted a bloodless death for the sake of whomever found me.
This time I didn’t care.
Now let’s look back just a bit over the course of my life to see how this all came about. At the age of 3 I dreamed I was on the top of the stairs of my home. The blue carpet felt as soft as it usually did. It was dawn, but instead of a peach glow that shone through the door’s window, it was a white light. Mind you I had just learned what death was that day after I threw my stuffed horse with a voice box down the stairs. My dad said he was dead and told me my horse would never neigh again.
Maybe it was guilt or envy or a mixture of both but in the dream I flung myself into the white light and I felt myself fade into it like I was one with the light until it became darkness and I woke up. This dream has been reoccurring all my life. To this day I still find comfort in that dream. Death to me is peace.
I learned of the word suicide at age 11 and at 15 my cousin committed suicide and I went to his funeral and saw his daughter give a speech that brought me to tears. I didn’t know them well and yet I cried because of how much she missed him. But it dawned on me then that my cousin was at peace and I envied him.
Throughout my life I have been raped, sexually abused, physically abused, but to be honest the worst was and still is the emotional abuse. It hurts more to me than any physical pain. Oddly I don’t mind being lied to, but all out betrayal and people projecting their expectations on me is the worst. I am the complete opposite of the cliche “sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never harm me.”
But it’s strange. You could call me a fucking retarded piece of shit that doesn’t deserve love in a cool monotone and I’d agree. If you yelled that at me my flight response would kick in and I’d internalize it to such a degree that I’d almost make it a mantra for myself.
I don’t believe there are as many empaths as people claim they are. To be truly empathic in my view you’d need some level of telepathy. 1 in 2 billion people probably have this gift. But mood mimicking? Yup that’s what I’d call myself. Any time I wasn’t mimicking another’s mood I felt worse because then I couldn’t help. There have been times I felt I needed a sense of self, or rather healthy boundaries, with certain people but I couldn’t and still have problems with maintaining that.
On the 23rd of January this year I had already been on my cycle for the whole month (apparently doctors don’t know what’s wrong with me or they’re lying because they know I can’t pay for a proper diagnosis) so emotions were running wild already and a panic attack ensued that night.
That day was pretty good, there wasn’t a specific trigger that threw me into a panic attack it was just me. All the things I internalized just manifested and I wanted to kill myself to find peace.
I called the hotline which I only do when I get to that place. I have had suicidal thought everyday since I was 3 but I only call the hotline when I have a plan to kill myself. I think I call them more than I should. I’ve called them at least 16 times since my 20s, and I’ve paid for therapy, and I’ve read self help books. None of it helps. I think at this point the only thing that could help would be full on amnesia or an IV of serotonin 24/7.
But I will say this. As I was holding my mother’s revolver, this was after my conversation with the suicide hotline, I contemplated doing a Russian Roulette. All the chambers were loaded and I could have taken them out and let only one bullet stay, but I calculated my odds and I didn’t want to be saved.
Until Loki, my godspouse, told me that this wasn’t my time. You see during this panic attack I had deities and spirits all telling me not to do it. Some frantically yelling, some crying, but during those moments I just felt crazy. I still feel crazy. Mentally ill is an understatement. I feel mentally damaged beyond repair. When anyone says I matter or that they love me I don’t believe them. I don’t trust anyone really. Whether intended or not I know the ones I love will hurt me. I especially don’t trust myself. In fact though I’ve tried to give myself self love, I just hate myself. When anyone gives me a compliment I just smile and say thank you for their benefit. It’s awkward to say what I truly think of myself in those moments. So I’m polite.
Even when I laugh on the outside I’m still a sad little piece of shit on the inside. I feel guilty for existing. No therapist or self help book can cure that. So why am I still alive?
Because it’s still not my time to go. Ha, I used to pray that I’d die at the same age of Yeshua (or Yahshua/Jesus) which would be 30-35 years old. I’ve got 2 more years to see if that’s really going to happen. Most days I feel like a ticking time bomb. But if I live beyond 35 years old I’ll be honest I wouldn’t know wtf to do. I could be a millionaire and still not know what to do emotionally with myself.
The gods have said that my death will be violent, but even disease and “natural causes” seem pretty violent to me. The only love I can give myself is hope. I hope that when I die I helped someone by dying. Whether it be one less drain on resources or that I saved someone from a cruel fate by my death.
I’ll conclude this with a talented völva friend of mine who made this message:
She did a reading for all of Loki’s devotees and Loki’s love definitely showed through. Most (by most I mean 1/100 times) of the time when people do readings for me I don’t resonate with them. I try to but then I notice I mood mimic and then the reading falls flat. But this one didn’t for some reason aka Loki, and it gave me comfort.
So for those who have read this post all the way through I hope you can overcome your own depression and any insecurities you have. You deserve happiness. Take care and happy witching!
So I came up with this spread because recently on tiktok witchtok drama, some 13 year old kids got tricked by something pretending to be the Greek Gods. These “gods” told them they are giving up their godly powers to mortals…like one named Katie…yeah. So I came up with this spread to see if a trickster is tricking you or are you actually talking to the deity you believe in?
So this spread is kinda funky…
This spread has no order to it. At least as mathematically as I can guess. But yes it is to bring your own chaos energy to show you mean business!
Tricky Trix Spread
This card should represent said deity’s myth.
Their favorite myth about themselves theme wise.
Their least favorite myth about themselves theme wise.
Their interest in you.
What they intend to give you if you work with them.
Qualities of their personality.
The true them (their intentions).
What to expect working with them.
I did this spread with Loki being the trickster of all tricksters I did it twice.
And it confirmed that Loki is Loki as I knew it would. So if you are questioning who you’re talking to and aren’t aware of a deity’s energy or energy signature this spread could really help you!
Moodiness, protecting the heart, seeking connection, chivalry, romantic.
Overall it shows our divine connection as soulmates. Since I was 16 and did blood magick with Her, even when I ignored Her, She was always there for me. Together we make an unstoppable team. I am forever grateful She chose me and allows me to blossom under Her love and protection. Thank you my lovely Goddess!
Cards: Chinese Tarot – Ace of Staves (r), Ten of Coins, 4 of Cups (r), The Empress.
This shows my warm and yet exciting relationship with my soul mother. We can be rather tired when it comes to work, but once we have our minds set on something we accomplish it. Home and family mean everything to Her, and I am glad I get to be a part of it!
Cards: The Dragon Tarot – Queen of Cups, Knight of Wands, 8 of Wands (r), King of Cups (r).
I believe this is about our more private life. Nevertheless, it shows Loki and I have an unbreakable bond full of complex passion. We're quick to get on each other's nerves and quick to forgive. Our relationship is fun yet deep. I'm grateful Loki is mine.
Now on to my new daily practice. Rune of the day!
Today was Fehu, but I’m actually going to show you my first I started almost a week ago.
Also wanted to show how my spirituality is doing and to show off my lesbianflag manicure:
Alright well thank you for reading and happy witching!
So if you’re familiar with my blog you know I have this deck on digital form, but I loved it so much I got the physical copy…lol sorta. It did not come with a guidebook but I was able to download it from the link on the back of the box.
But yes I do love this deck being that I am a neo pagan and this deck just screams that. I did a light/shadow reading which shows your strengths and weaknesses more or less.
The Knight of Swords shows that I’m ambitious and strive for success in everything I do. Which is true I am a perfectionist and also a Slytherin so this card is very accurate.
My shadow card, the Seven of Wands, shows that I’m often misunderstood, defending my accomplishments, and need to erect energetic shields. Very true since I’m in tiktok and I’m sure I’ve pissed ppl off just by being me. Plus living in a house full of judgy Christians doesn’t help.
A very accurate reading indeed. Physical copy 9.8/10. Kinda wish the cards were slightly bigger but they are indeed travel size.
Now onto a little devotion to Loki.
For those who can’t read my handwriting:
Loki you are the love I was terrified of but once I opened my heart the most thrilling love came to me. Thank you for never giving up on me. May our journey together be eternal. You're beautiful soul never ceases to amaze me!
I don’t often write in my prayer journal (I should) but when I do it’s basically love letters or praise.
This one was inspired by last night when I just felt a deep connection to Loki. I often do, of course, but the intimate connections we have are like nothing else. Godspousing isn’t always about the glorious, sometimes it’s the mundane day to day romances that really make one feel appreciated. Loki makes me feel appreciated and I hope I can return the feeling as much as Loki has done for me. Mortals come and go in this life, but my beloved is eternal.
The festival in Athens celebrating Artemis for Her bright full moonlight giving the the advantage for success.
Earlier today I helped a baby robin be reunited with his parents and sister. He was quite determined to stay on my hand but once I found the bush his family was in he hopped right off. They quickly gathered him back to his nest. Artemis approved.
But for the festival I made her these little round cakes. Not exactly amphiphontes but Artemis guided me through this recipe. She said She wanted something earthy and sweet and these definitely hit the mark.
I also filmed the pink moon the other night. It seems fitting to add it here as well since it was Her moonlight that won the battle.
Tonight I rededicated myself to the Goddess Hekate. She and I have spent quite a few lifetimes together and I’m glad I was finally able to be in the right mindset to work with Her again. Her signs were everywhere after I decided not to work with Her back in 2016. But Her love for me, at least in this lifetime, shows that no matter how one bad time (both in this lifetime and in one other) can turn into something beautiful.
I made some bread for Her (recipe below) while my dog Lucas watched in curiosity. The three candles are all dedicated to spirits, reapers, and ghosts I work with.
I wanted Jonghyun to be a part of the ritual more or less because he kind of asked. Not with words this time but with his aura. I could tell he was wanting some love so naturally it was the perfect time to include him.
We officially celebrated his birthday that morning around 2am-4am (Korean time would have still been the 8th). He got to see what his fortune was from a fortune cookie I got from PF Changs a few months back. Haha I hate these cookies, but him and R find them fun. We watched documentaries on Mormon polygamy and pretty much hung out.
But during the day I wanted to focus on preparing for the ritual with Hekate.
Before cooking with Her during twilight, I did astral travel with Her to Her cave where She gave me a wine colored tea that was very earthy. She then led me out of Her cave and we followed a path until I saw one of my past lives (we’ll call her L) in the woods. She has been astral travelling on her own (she’s the only one I allow to do this) where she has collected fruits and breads as a peace offering.
My spirit children with Kunxi (reaper) made a mess of some Others’ lives and I went there with L and Hekate to mend relations. It was just a situation that got blown out of proportion apparently. So offering these things felt right. I mean what do you do when your kid has a broken heart but you liked their lover? So I told the elder, or one of the main elders, that there was no ill will on my part and hoped they didn’t suffer too much because of them. Naturally I apologized on behalf of my spirit kids (now around 18). The elder told me not to worry and there was no I’ll will on her part. With that we said goodbye and I was ready to cook.
After that then came the bread making in the dark with the dog. After the bread was made it was night and since I had made a weather spell earlier that day to not rain during this time, Sirius (Hekate’s star) shone bright and brilliant as you can see above.
During the ritual I set my keys, wolf Grimoire, and the bread by the crossroad of my culdisac. I pricked my finger and made a vow to one day become her priestess and to dedicate this life to Her. Earlier that day She told me that while Longmu is indeed my mother Goddess, Hekate is my matron and teacher.
I am excited for the road ahead. Finally able to say I know my path.
Alright now what yall been waiting for. The recipe for my offering bread.
Basic Offering Bread for Hekate:
2 cups all purpose flower
2 cups water
1 large egg
Cinnamon powder to taste
Garlic powder to taste
Garlic salt to taste
Minced garlic to taste.
2 table spoons of nutritional yeast.
Mix in pyrex dish until batter is smooth.
In a small frying pan add roughly 1 tablespoon of olive oil for each flatbread.
Cook on medium low.
Wait until the edges of the side facing you are crisp. Flip and allow bubbles to form until the other side is cooked.