Insane in the brain cant refrain from the pain, hey isnt life a stain on the soul for those with no control? Roll the toll. Deities of my soul.
Let me live or give me an urn that I earned. Burn my soul make me something else. 1000 years burning but at least 1000 learning.
I feel like I am nothing if I felt nothingness exists in the grandness of this royal kindness. But I have no finesse. So much regress. Who am I trying to impress? My dress or these narticitic empresses always making messes they can’t clean
Clean to be mean. Guess I only can love brown eyes with sties, dyes, flies,ryes, my own kind. Truly sad.
Sadder than madder than gladder, guess I’m just fadder dadder who tries to make my life matter. It doesn’t feel zeal.
No zeal to heal. No zeal to feel. Nothing feels real. Everyone loves to steal it’s zeal.
So I started this project about a month ago and it took me that long to figure out the color combinations I wanted.
A little recap on mine and Aphrodite’s relationship. I have been working with Her for over a decade and our relationship grew to be lovers. Since I have never seen anyone marry Aphrodite but still use the term godspouse I’m going to assume Hephaestus to be Her only legal spouse, as seen by the contracts of Hera, but naturally She has lovers. She and I have two demi-goddess children (though they are adults now) Delaphina goddess of finding one’s soulmate (note not always a sexual relationship) and Daemura who is still trying to find her passion. Both of them have purple/violet eyes so I included that into Aphrodite’s dress.
I wanted to give her rose gold hair but I think I did my best since I had to make rose gold rather than buy it. Plus, I bet itd be hella expensive for rose gold gouache.
Nevertheless Aphrodite loves Her statue and that’s all that matters! I hope to do more of these this year! So stay tuned for that. If I get good enough I’ll start making to sell but I think I need to work out some stuff first.
Dear Reader, You may have heard of the term ‘godspouse’ and wondered what on earth it means. You may have seen some people refer to themselves as ‘godspouses’ and wondered if their grip on reality was slipping. You may have seen the numerous posts referring to godspouses as overly imaginative/obsessed fangirls of a certain deity. […]
Today was my grandmother’s funeral, my last remaining grandparent. I have yet to cry but maybe that’s because I’ve prepared for such times. It was strange. The day she died, ironically Groundhog day, I didn’t see her ghost but at the funeral I saw her spirit wander. She was confused and quiet, but she heard the music in my head I was playing for her. She smiled at that. She wore the necklace I made her and her favorite dress that matched. Serendipitous how that worked out. During the service I kept thinking of a memory of when I was 6 years old with her telling me to play the piano that’s now in my living room. There was a porcelain book with painted daisies, her favorite flower, that my mother made for her sitting on the too of the piano. It had been a warm yet breezy autumn morning. As I played for her, my tiny hands rambling on the keys, I eventually found a melody which turned into a song. Possibly my first. I called it Daisies in the Wind. As we buried her I thought of the melody and saw her watching over me. During the last prayer over her grave a gale rushed by and I opened my eyes to see her ghost was gone, like a daisy in the wind. I smiled and said goodbye. I could hear her say she loved me. I smiled and said I loved her too.
Now, for some happier news I went to a metaphysical shop recently and got some stones, a new oracle deck, and these awesome statues!
Anubis likes his chibi-ized self. I wanted to pay homage to Him since He is the one who helped me decide that mortuary school is my career path. He was also there throughout the whole process with my grandmother seeing her die before me and helping me remember all the things she wanted with her in her casket. Kunxi, the former Joseung Saja, also helped a lot. These two are the sweetest with the dead.
Kuan Yin has also been a comfort for me lately. When I saw Her statue I knew I had to get it. She truly is a beautiful deity to love.
I also got myself the Kali Oracle which I love! Kali has been calling to me for ages. Her fierce yet graceful love is something I’ve always been attracted to.
In this reading I did what my inner self needs to focus on and what my outer self needs to focus on. The inner self card is Krishnau and talked about reaching desires through purification of fire. Funny, since my moon sign is the fire sign Sagittarius. It’s a very introspective card allowing myself to experience Kali though the warmth of purifying fire.
The outer self card Kama if Kali focused on seeking pleasure and joy but not in the hedonistic sense, but rather finding joy in self care and dedicating this to Kali as a form of worship. I thought that was perfect. Making beauty from the mundane as a form of offering.
These comings of deities and goings of loved ones is a part of spiritual growth in my opinion. I feel as if I am no longer a caged bird but rather a newly born phoenix rising from the ashes of rebirth. I am excited to see what lays ahead for me with my many deities and spirits to lead me and with my ancestors to guide me.